Resentment and love
What is resentment?
The mind holds others accountable for things that happen in its own life. There is always this conviction of 'shared responsibility'. And although there is some shared aspect in human contact- your personal responsibility is always completely separate from the other person. You do not need another to work out all that you have to work out. Good news you can say, right? The mind thinks not.
The mind as the leading aspect of the human will always make sure you are connected or rather "trapped" within certain situations, people and things. Lets make it very clear that the mind in its natural state is not something bad or evil, its the part where we identify with the mind and its story where we start to go astray.
So the short answer to this question- ''what is resentment?'' is: Resentment is when the mind cannot let go of ''the other'' and hold it accountable for that which it would otherwise set free.
Meaning that if the being behind the mind could only let go of, it would free itself immediately. Resentment binds you, it holds you prison while the captivator is telling you that that which it clings to Is the thing it will be set free by. ''if only that person would do this then...... I will be free''
What is needed?
It's so cliché. but it's true. Love is needed to free yourself and thereby free the other.
But let's take a look at what it means: love. Because we do not mean love in the popular way us humans know it.
What is meant by love is deep looking, deep listening and honesty combined with compassion.
First- we have to be willing to carry our own load. We have to, no matter what, set the other person free of our burdens. All your ideas about others have to go. It simply does not matter how bad or good you think someone is. You are not right anyway but that aside it's not helping you to judge others and built your sense of responsibility around that. it's unfair and not realistic. you give another way too much power by doing this and the result of that is of course a lack of power on your side.
Deep looking is about knowing that everything happens for one reason or another- you may or may not like it but everything that happens on your path is there with the purpose to free you. Find the deeper meaning, which happens as a result of letting go of blame and shame, and you will be one step closer to freedom again.
Deep listening and compassion is not only about listening to another person and being the nicest person on the planet. It's listening with attention, also to yourself. which thoughts and accusations are flying to your mind all the time? What do they really say? how many times have you heard these sentences in your life before? IS IT REALLY FACTUAL TRUE? go back, with compassion, to the time these thoughts came to you for the first time. where did it started? and do you dare to look honestly how they unfolded in your system without having any connection to the thing that is happening in the here and now?
This whole journey is about setting yourself free of the bondage of self- not the bondage of others. It's the bondage that the mind creates and wants to hold you stuck in. It's your choice to step out of it or dwell in it for the rest of eternity.
Be gentle with yourself and be gentle with others. There is no smooth talking bad behavior, never can you justify hurt. The difference is that you do not make others responsible of the outcome of your life. It's up to God to Judge others and call them out on behavior.
Everyone will pay the price eventually- focus on your own price tag and set yourself free.
-Lina Rosa